Thursday, March 18, 2010

Overwhelmed by Baby Decisions

I really hope there are some other mama's out there who have some experiences in this area.  I'm going to throw this out there and hope for a response or two!  :)  Baby #3 is weighing heavily on my mind (since s/he's only about a lemon, that's the only place the baby's weighing heavy so far!), because I want to do this whole thing better this time around.  Add limited green ($$) and wanting to be green (as in environmentally-friendly), and I have more questions than answers.  Or at least it feels that way.

Let's start with the birth experience.  Despite the wonderful outcomes (two beautiful daughters), I am not happy about my first two birth experiences.  I labored in fear and uncertainty both times, and I refuse to allow myself to have that experience again.  The first time was due in part to it being my first time around, but mostly due to a nurse who basically ignored me.  The second time around, my nurses were a million times better, but again I was scared, because I kept being told about what-ifs and negative possibilities.  This time around, I want to be in control and allow my body, created by God to labor and deliver children, to do what it is meant to do.  I do not want to be forced to stay in bed flat on my back -- that seems counter-productive!

I know I want a new experience, not one full of fear and doubt in my abilities and medication I am talked into and don't necessarily need.  I don't want a home birth.  I'm pretty sure that would be on the landlord's list of things not to do!!!  But I want to be in control, and I want someone with me who can encourage me along the right lines.  I have contacted Jenn at Knitted in the Womb as my first step, and I feel good about my initial contacts with her.  She gave me some great questions to talk to my doctors about to find out where they are in supporting my desire for a different birthing experience.  It would be easier if I were still in NoVA, where I know doctors, midwives, and doulas and have more resources.  *sigh*  Anyone have any experience with Jenn?

On a completely different note, we have to do some shopping.  And not just for the stuff that is worn out after two babies and needs to be replaced.  Come September, we will have three kids in car seats (well, the oldest will be in a booster).  I don't think they are going to fit in my Elantra!  It has been strongly recommended to me to try the Sunshine Kids Radian car seat.  Apparently, they are great seats, super-safe, one seat for the child's lifetime, and the are narrower than other seats, so you can get three of them across some cars.  The key is installing the middle one first, I've heard.  But even three Radians may not fit in my car.  Which means we need another vehicle, because Ryan uses the minivan for work all the time.  *another sigh*  Like I want to go car shopping.  Like I can afford a car.  We're in for an adventure!

The other thing I really want to figure out is a baby sling or something.  I don't mind the carrier I have, but I definitely don't love it.  For one thing, I really struggle to put it on by myself, so that's not always practical.  I am on the tall side and rather... well-endowed, especially when nursing.  My chest can definitely make certain carriers a bit uncomfortable.  I'm looking for recommendations on an easy-to-use carrier that will fit my body as well as the baby's.

Any creative types out there in cyberspace?  Our landlord will not let us take down the wallpaper in the baby's room, despite the fact that it is full of tears and is not at all attractive.  Seriously, it is so busy, it gives me a headache when I spend too much time in the room.  So I'm thinking about hanging fabric on the walls.  I'm hoping that doesn't get too expensive!  I just don't think I can take the wallpaper anymore.  Oh, how I miss having our own place!  Our girls had the most beautiful rooms in VA.  The nursery was a beautiful lighter green with a sky blue ceiling with puffy white clouds.  There was a cute white ledge all the way around the room dividing the green and the blue and holding cute little baby things (Pooh letters, etc.).  My favorite, though, was the apple tree my mom painted in the corner to match the apple tree on the quilt.  It was such a perfectly peaceful room.  And Ryleigh's "big girl" room was yellow with pink and white hand-painted flowers to match her quilt.  And a little bee buzzed a little trail around the room.  A happy little place.  Oh, I do not like renting!  I am not a fan of ugly, in-bad-shape wallpaper and poorly-painted white walls everywhere else.

OK, wow, so this was more of a vent.  I just needed to dump my brain!  But if you have any suggestions for vehicles, car seats, baby carriers, or ways to cover the wallpaper without ruining it, I'd love to hear them!  Blessings, friend!

1 comment:

  1. I just watched The Business of Being Born and thought it was a great window into the world of homebirthing. I know you said you don't want this but if there are no birthing centers (another good option) in your area then you may not get the experience you want in a hospital. They have rules that can clash with what you want. I can't speak from experience yet (we're trying for our first) but I feel the same as you - I want a good experience and to allow my body to do what it is designed to do.